When you realise
People always regard me as that goody-to-shoes girl-next-door which is helpless and only cries to herself. Those close to me, knows me enough of my capability and integrity, those far from me, regards me as someone else, those who loves me for who I am, leaves.
Lately, I began to lose myself. I don’t feel like being that innocent, naive lil girl who often tells herself I should keep this unselfish love and just let him go. But the fact is, True love, is unselfish love. Nonetheless I have to do what’s right for myself. It’s not about US anymore, it’s about ME.
I’m not gonna save his ass. I’m just gonna save my own. My own reputation, pride and integrity. The rest, I leave it to God. GOd will make his judgement. God will do what’s right. God just wants me to be happy. ANd I will.
Yeap people. Kim Jing Hyun, is independant, strong and would never fall. Note for those who left me and accused me.
"You can try, do anything to me, say anything you want. But you can never break me. And even If I Fall, I’ll never face the ground. If you’re gonna take me down with all those pathetic little games, go ahead and try"
A man, who gives me shit like promising words, beautiful words, false feelings, and tells me things like "I won’t ever leave you, Write me a love letter, this is forever, baby girl" and 6 mintues later tells it to someone else which I was hoping she’s much better than me but sadly not. Is not worth my tears at all. As I told a few people today which shocked them… "He’s Fucked"
Ooh~ Kim Jing Hyun being vulgar. Gah Sally, I’m sure you’re happy. besides, this is not the first time i said it, no big. Isn;t it a casual word in you people’s daily conversation?
This is no out of anger. It is out of realisation.
Next Topic. The Man.
Again, I drool over Wu Zun ahahah!
And I never watched or seen his acts. Or heard of him.
I recalled hearing about his status 5 years ago… (O.o) Brandon told me.
And when I flipped through my magazine, A question popped
"What’s your ideal man?"
Well! I have the answer!
Face and body(with that sexy tattoo) like WU ZUN, Personality and sensitivity like TERENCE and the same feelings I had for that Fat Kuma~!
~(*_*~) Oh my god Kim Jing Hyun stop smiling like a dork! *flutters*
ehem *cough*
Next topic.
Bought another dress~ It’s a Chanel Couture gown~
Oh and while I’m at this, I’ll just stress on a point.
People always think I’m this spoilt brat who buys what she wants whenever she wants.
Peh *spits*
These are cash from my parents. Forced me to buy these to attend pretentious events to use me as a bait to hook up with young managinf directors or heirs for ther mallicious purposes~ Is that informative enough about my life? It’s a joke isn’t it~? yeah it is.
Look, if you think standards are issues to be getting into a relationship’s way, take a hike you coward.
Look into your mind and find out what you reall want instead of giving me cowardly excuses.
Sorry But I do not have time to play with someone your standards or any higher ones. Feelings which was sincere, true and real which became my life was questioned by you like an insensitive beast. So don’t come to me with the compromise, stay out of this conversation, I got a backbone stronger than yours. : )
So anyway, what’d you think of the couture gown my girls? Hehe.
I thought of adopting a kid soon enough. Jae hyun and Ji hyun! Here haha comes. *chu*
